May 29, 2013

thoughts like scattered clouds

The cool, rough shingles pulled at the skin on the bottom of my dusty feet. Sitting on the roof can feel like sitting in the clouds sometimes. Everything looks a wee bit different from a little farther away.

The light was glowy; the trees shone with newest green, but the shadows fell deeply, in a warm, comfortable way. It was the kind of dark you would want to fall asleep in, those nights when you remember that night is a shadow, the earth's shadow--the nights you remember the sun is still bright and burning on the other side of the globe, you just have to wait until you spin 'round again to see it, to feel its rays.

At that moment, the sun was a sunken light. It fell into the horizon with splashes and ripples of pink  splattering the blue and grey sky. Some drops even landed in the yard, falling almost transparently on the intensely green grass, and the white siding. I was splashed with a drop too, on my arm. Real beauty is like that--it leaves some of itself on you.

The wind gently laughed in my face--which felt a little like a cool version of the wave of air that rolls out of a hot oven when you open it. Momentarily intense, but the cool (or hot--if you are referring to the oven) lingers, your face and neck now used to it, wearing the different air almost like a mask--or did it take away the mask? Sometimes I cannot tell if the mask is on or gone.

He will look so familiar I think. I mean, if His beauty is reflected in sunsets, and mountains, and people's hearts, won't we recognize Him? In an intensely, unfamiliarly whole, unveiled sort of way. Maybe at first it won't seem so. But we'll recognize what we squinted at hazily in this world. That is what this life feels like--slowly coming into focus.

Now the shadow has fallen more heavily. A beautiful scent--it might be honeysuckle--hangs in my room like invisible curtains. They open and close on memories, like a strange old film in shaky black and white. There has been sorrow. There has been pain. There has been joy. There has been delight. Right now there is peace. Easier peace. Still I will say, blessed be the name of the Lord.


  1. I think I helped put those shingles in, so I wouldn't trust their security. At Grove City, the whole campus is on a hill facing West, so the sunsets are huge and gorgeous. I love sitting speechless, admiring the delicate beauty. I love that even though it seems so still if you just glance, you can watch the sun move through the sky if *you* stay still enough. God is good. God is faithful.

    1. well, I didn't fall! So good job on the roof :)
      and yes, I like that about the sun. If we sit still enough, we can see the sun move, and all sorts of other beautiful things. :)