July 19th 2012 is a day in history. Aren't they all? I walked, complained, rejoiced, stumbled, laughed and sipped frozen chocolate coffee (basically ice cream) today.
I belonged in this day. I long for tomorrow to be over--those tests that partly determine whether I get to entice the minds of students into books and poems. I just want it to be over.
So I thought about it all today--as I studied, reviewed, took study breaks. it will feel so good once it is just done.
But what about today? I belonged in today. Are we not made for a time such as this?
I saw small graces of His hand today. But not enough. Not enough to enjoy, to be grateful for the now. I complained about the sticky weather, my tests, and too many other things. But I remember the few moments of grace...
writing to a friend in need, the taste of the crisp herb bread and mozzarella, the cool slide of a frappe down my throat, the sunset that looked like waves of magma.
I wish I had enjoyed them more.
Even now as my heart pounds with nervous energy, I pray I can fill in bubbles and write answers without an urgent racing hand, desperate to be finished. Somehow, I want to savor that test, to thank Him for it. I don't know how, but He will show up somewhere along the way--He usually does. Tomorrow, I will belong in tomorrow--in that testing room, with those people. Maybe they need me, or I need them. When we let ourselves belong to our day--whether full of winding side roads, detours or easy paths--we find His grace and His work at hand.
Those tests don't sound so bad after all.