December 28, 2011

Release

People come and go-I have heard it a thousand times or more. I am not very good at the "you have to let some of them fade out of your life" part. You see, I suffer from a disease called cares-a-lot syndrome. Not a very elegant or professional term, I know, but you get the picture. It sounds like a Care Bear problem.

Certain people are just hard to let go of. Of course, being a quasi-normal functioning, social human being,  I have had quite a collection of acquaintances. It has never been easy to let go of those I have loved. Once people have entered my heart, it is hard to get them out. But a majority of lost friendships I have come to terms with and accepted as beautiful memories.

Two missing friends are on my heart tonight, however.

One has struggled with many things in her life, and I was there for her. Still, I do not think she understands the depth of comfort she gave me in a time of loneliness and insecurity: my first quarter in college.

The other was one of the first people I opened up to, that I was myself with and whether he knows it or not, was an invaluable friend. He said some of the most wise things I have ever heard, and could be so much. I just want him to know what I see in him.

Sigh.

We are full of holes. I believe that every person we love takes a piece of us-whether they ask for it, desire it, treasure it or not, they still have something of me. These are holes only He can fill. He may not fill them at the speed and rate that we expect or desire. Healing is never speedy. My two friends each have piece of me whether they realize it or not, and I am just going to have to let God fill me up in His time.

It is not in my nature to give up on anything, especially people. Someday they may see how dear they are to me and perhaps even feel how I have loved them all along. And maybe they won't. Nevertheless, I refuse to give up. There is always hope, though I have accepted that nothing may ever happen.

"Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be."
Anonymous

4 comments:

  1. {I've been holding on so tight
    Look at these knuckles
    They've gone white
    I'm fighting for who I wanna be
    I'm just trying to find security

    But You say let it go, You say let it go
    You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
    You say you will be, everything I need
    You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
    You say let it go.}
    Some encouraging thoughts to a tune from Tenth Avenue North. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you for allowing Him to speak through you. You will never know how much of a blessing this particular post has been. The timing and the words are perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are welcome with all my heart. It is all His doing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Crazy. I know exactly how you feel. It is hard to let go of certain people, especially those who make such a huge impact on your life. You know, the ones that you don't even realize made a big impact until after they're gone? Just keep seeking after the Father, and He will definitely fill you up. Thanks for sharing, Karly!

    ReplyDelete