August 21, 2014

noticing change

Five-Minute-Friday: a chance to sit down and pen unfiltered, unedited, with community about one word. Share your story, won't you?

Five Minute Friday - 4I have been hanging out with these wonderful writers for a while, and it has been one of the most encouraging experiences of my life. So please, come sit with us awhile?

Just link up with Kate Motaung here and encourage the writer who posts before you--that is the best part!


Today's word: CHANGE


I look in the mirror and wonder a bit. Could that be me? Staring out placidly from those hazel eyes?

I don't look different. But then, I don't look in the mirror as much these days. I have been too busy looking in other directions.

It sure is me, in that reflective world. Makes me ponder, reflect. What has changed? Why do I feel so different? Something is missing. It is not gone completely. But it is smaller--something in the way I breathe and the words I speak. Not explicit, but an undercurrent of something filling in.

I run my thoughts over heart-scars and they tell me what I have happily lost--fear. And what fills? Him. And His courage.

My circumstances have not changed. I still don't have a job. And it looks right now as though I will be substitute teaching this fall. Something I used to look down on. Something I used to fear. All of my friends who just graduated with me have jobs--teaching and in other fields. And I find I am to wait. But I am not afraid.

This small place is much larger when you look closely, count details and see opportunities in humble places. And as much as it hurts, as disappointing as it is, and even though I grieve my dream, I am excited.

There are so many small ways to serve here, and if this is where He has me, this is where I will bloom. I will have time for people and writing and art and music. Time to prepare myself better for future students. Time to grow.

Only He could be such peace.

8 comments:

  1. "Only he could be such peace." That is so moving a thought and so true! My friend always says: We are right where we are supposed to be. Right where God wants us at this moment.
    Lovely piece. I'm glad you posted after me!
    Thank you and blessings.
    Andrea

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    1. I am glad, too. Thank you for stopping by and for the wonderful encouragement. We are both where we need to be. :)

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  2. Amazing how He provides peace just when we need it. I loved your phrase, "an undercurrent of something filling in." I find myself nodding my head as I read that phrase over and over. That is exactly what it is. Thanks for giving some words to explain what I have felt the Lord do in my own life.

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  3. I love that feeling when you finally find words--either your own or someone else's to explain. I am honored to have been that someone else for you. :)

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  4. powerful phrase there... "see opportunities in humble places." good words!

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  5. Oh gosh ... when fear finallly tucks its tail and slinks off, those spaces become more spacious and open and free.

    I love how you've chosen to bloom right where you're planted, my Scribbling friend. I can only imagine how God's gonna use you next ...

    Hugs.

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    1. Spacious--that is the perfect word for it! Thanks for stopping by friend, and hugs to you too :)

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